


The Five Times Q Surprised the 00's and The One Time Bond Surprised Q

by Rivermoon1970



Series: The Christmas Stories [1]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, M/M, The 00's are surprised with Q
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:34:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28356291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivermoon1970/pseuds/Rivermoon1970
Summary: The 00's believe that Q is just a basement-dwelling nerd, but he is more than that. They also believe that Bond is emotionally cold and only beds women, they are shocked when Bond takes Q in his arms and kisses him stupid at the Q-Branch Christmas party.
Relationships: James Bond/Q
Series: The Christmas Stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2076645
Comments: 2
Kudos: 144
Collections: Mi6 Cafe Prompt Fills





	The Five Times Q Surprised the 00's and The One Time Bond Surprised Q

Q could be found in his workshop in the basement of SIS headquarters. He was currently working on something special. Something his lover would never expect in a million years. When there was a knock on his door, he didn’t startle, he always tried to keep an ear out if someone came looking for him.

Turning around he saw 004 standing in the doorway looking a little sheepish.

“004, how may I help you?”

“I need some of my equipment looked at. I think my watch face needs replacing, and these earbuds are somewhat staticky as of late. Think you can help?”

“Sure, leave them on the bench over there and I will see what’s going on.” Q pointed out his main workbench then got back to working on his secret project. As he turned around to focus on a particularly delicate part, he heard 004 talking to another one of the 00’s.

“ _ It’s like he dwells down here all the time. And did you notice all of the nerdy shit? I mean, I enjoy a bit of Who once and awhile, but there’s a limit, mate.” _

The conversation faded as the pair, or what Q assumed was only a pair, walked on. Turning back around to his project, he thought more about what he had heard over his time as Quartermaster from the different 00’s who were not Bond.

Looking down at Spike and Zander, his two Scottish folds, Q smiled at how they were curled around each other, but looking up at him.

“You know, I do believe the 00’s have a certain idea of who I am.” Chuckling to himself, Q took it in stride, because in the end he kept them safe, and kept his team in tip top shape. “If they only knew.” Q smiled to himself and thought about how he spent his time outside of SIS and MI6 in particular.

“I think our 00’s would have a heart attack to know what I got up to on my days off, don’t you think, darlings?”

“Talking to you cats again, Ashcroft?”

Q turned around to see Moneypenny striding in. He smiled at seeing his friend holding a cup of something steamy. He hoped it was a fresh cup of tea.

“I thought you might like a cuppa. Since I was making my own, it was easy enough to make for two.”

“Thanks. You are a darling, Eve.”

“You just like how I make it.”

Q took a sip and closed his eyes for a moment savoring the flavor and warmth of a perfectly prepared cup of tea. It was, to Q, one of life’s simplest pleasures.

“Indeed I do.”

“Will you be ready to go? Our table will be waiting.”

“In a moment, I want to get this part of Bond’s gift finished before I put it away for the night.”

“I’ll bring the car around and meet you in about ten minutes.”

“Sounds perfect.”

Q finished the delicate part of his project, wrapped it all up, locked it away and gathered up his feline companions before he met Eve at her car. After dropping the cats off at his flat and changing into perfectly tailored slacks, a blood red button down, and black vest with blood red stripes with a black sport jacket to match. He dropped the frumpy mask he wore at work to keep the others at a distance. 

After changing, he tamed his hair, slipped on his shoes, and grabbed his wallet to meet Eve once more. After a few moments they arrived at  _ Genting Casino Cromwell Mint. _ Q, going as Ashcroft Paddington, with Eve Moneypenny, they had entered the yearly Christmas tournament for charity. A good portion of the pot was going to charities, the winner usually won a nominal prize.

Q had won the tournament three years in a row. He played often through the year as did Moneypenny. However, none of the 00’s knew of one of Q’s extracurricular activities. 

As they approached the casino, they were greeted by name and shown to the tournament tables.

“You know, I believe that our colleagues would blow a gasket if they knew I spent several weekends a year playing in poker tournaments.”

Eve laughed as the two sat down at the first table. The tournament was one night only, and Q always enjoyed his time. After the first table, with both Eve and Q placing fairly high, they were separated. Ashcroft was fully on display. He changed from the quiet no nonsense Quartermaster that spent as much time developing new tech, as he did running missions, to the affable, funny, and quite gregarious poker player.

By the time the dinner break came around, Q took a few moments to himself before the final table with the last ten players took place. He spent time nibbling off the buffet table, speaking with other players and generally just having a good time. Q had made many friends in the poker world over the years, and while he wouldn’t call any of them close, they were friends and he enjoyed their company.

When the break was over, the players were seated and Q heard a familiar voice from halfway down the table.

“Q?”

“Anston. How are you this evening?” Q smiled at 005 who was gaping at him as he sat down at the table. 

“I’m quite well. Just surprised to see you here. I...I...well, I admit I didn’t expect it.”

“That’s because I didn’t want anyone to know. I have been in this particular tournament for the last three years. I like to play quite often.”

“Oh. Well, good luck mate.”

“And to you.” Q smiled and proceeded to win yet again.

Anston came over and shook Q’s hand.

“Well played mate. You did a bang up job. I promise, not to divulge your secret. But, I have to say you have tilted my world a little.”

“You all seem to think all I do is spend my time in the basement, or on the comms running ops. I do have a life outside of MI6, and I can say it is quite different from what you imagine.”

“I’m seeing that. Well, I must be off. I will see you in the office. Oh, and Merry Christmas, Q.”

“Merry Christmas, Anston.”

Eve came back to collect Q and the two of them left the casino, both warm with the good feelings the evening encompassed.

“Did you have fun, Ash?”

“I did, Eve. You played much better this year. Someday, you may actually be able to beat me.”

“What gave me away?”

Ashcroft smiled as they walked arm and arm out of the casino and to Eve’s waiting car.

“You get this slight nervous tick at the left corner of your mouth when you have a particularly good hand. Other than that, you bluffing has improved.”

Eve laughed as they both got in her vehicle and drove back to Q’s place where he thanked her for a lovely evening, then made his way to his apartment where he curled up on the couch with a cup of evening tea and his cats where he promptly began to fall asleep with the tv tuned to an old Space 1999 episode.

Bond was out on mission and would be for a few more days. The next day was Friday and Q had it off. In fact he had the whole weekend off, which he haggled with M for, but he needed the time. M was always pestering him to take time off. He had planned out his days to get ready for Christmas that was coming up in the next week. Q was relaxed as he let himself be dragged down into sleep.

++++++++++

Q snuck into his basement workshop early in the morning to put the finishing touches on the secret gift for Bond. Once he was done, he set it carefully in the special box, then wrapped it and took it home with him to keep out of the hands of nosy 00’s. The whole process only took about two hours, which gave him the whole day.

The first thing he did when he got home was to pack a bag of supplies. Normally he would go to the class he had booked on the weekends, but they had a spot open for that Friday and Q was happy to take it.

The arts center he frequented was a pay by class type of center, but they had classes going on all day and for all levels. This particular class he had been taking off and on for about two years and it was one of the activities outside of Poker that he loved. 

Chinese Brush painting took not only skill, but time and patience to learn. His kit was full of the brushes he had skillfully made himself over time. His pots of ink had been hand crushed and made himself. The only thing he had not learned to make was the rice paper in which his brush paintings took to life.

When he walked in the class he greeted the teacher, who had grown to be a friend to Q. They often would take tea, or an early lunch with each other after classes if time allowed.

“Ashcroft, I’m so glad to see you. I know how hard it has been for you to find time.”

“Thank you Junjie. I was excited I could get space today. I am finishing up some projects for Uncle, Auntie, and Mummy. I was hoping that your class will help me to do that.”

“You know you are always welcome, Ashcroft. And, if there is anything I can help you with, just let me know.”

“Thank you, I do appreciate it.”

Ash found a place he could spread out his supplies and pulled out the first piece he wanted to work on, which was a beautiful black and white landscape with pops of blues and reds here and there. On the side in Chinese Hani characters was a poem that fit with the landscape. When he had finished up the Hanzi, he sat back and took a critical look at the piece to see if he wanted to add anything to what he had already done.

“Oh my. That is gorgeous.” Q heard from directly behind him. Turning around he saw 002, a newer recruit that had been given the moniker after the previous 002 actually retired. Q felt that every 00 that retired instead of dying in the field was a victory.

“Elise. What brings you here?”

“I’m not on mission and decided to try something new. I didn’t expect to see you.” Elsie was dressed for the season in festive greens and reds. Q smiled at the bright outfit, which belied the serious and dangerous agent underneath it.

Q himself was in a soft jumper of winter blue with a pair of comfortable jeans. It was clothes he didn’t mind getting messed up.

“That’s good. We all need something to relieve the stress.”

“Yes, we do. I’m just surprised to see you here, and to see how skilled you are.”

“Don’t tell me, you’ve heard the gossip that I’m some sort of basement gremlin?”

Elsie blushed deeply which charmed Q down to his trainers.

“Well, yes. I know I am not supposed to make assumptions. Especially since...you know.”

“Yes, I do know. I was pleased to get a spot in Master Junjie’s morning class. Just finishing up some Christmas gifts for my family.”

“I have always been of the mind that gifts you make are always the best gifts.”

“Yes, they are. I hope you enjoy Junjie’s class. He is rather a brilliant teacher.” Q smiled before turning back to his work to finish it up.

After spending three hours, the class broke up as the space was needed for the next one coming in. Q had finished all three pieces he had been working on, now all he needed to do was find the perfect frames for them and wrap them up.

As he left, he gave Elsie one last smile then walked out to go home for lunch. He had plans for that evening and looked forward to them.

+++++

The club was decked out for Christmas with colored lights, a big Christmas tree in the corner, strands of garland all around, and drinks with a Christmas theme. The music was hard pumping, and just exactly what Q had needed.

_ The Cheshire Cat  _ had become one of Q’s favorite gay clubs in London. There were others that he went to, but he enjoyed the variety of men and women that frequented this one. They weren’t exclusive to just men, but opened their doors to anyone and everyone in the LGBTQ community.

“Aren’t you a naughty little minx.” A voice from behind whispered. Q knew that voice immediately. Turning around he smiled and sipped his drink before he spoke. The shocked look on the face in front of him was worth it.

“Q?”

“Hello Winston. I’ve never seen you here before.”

“But...but...Q?” Winston stuttered as his mouth did a unique imitation of a fish out of water.

“Are you questioning your current worldview?”

Winston grabbed his glass and chugged the ale he had been drinking down. After he took a deep breath and nodded.

“Yes, yes I am.”

Q finished his drink, then held out his hand for Winston to take. Bond may be out on mission, but it didn’t mean that Q couldn’t have a little fun. And all of the 00’s knew that Q was taken, they just didn’t know by  _ who _ .

“That outfit is dangerous, Q.”

“Yes, well I do like to live a little dangerously. Now shut up and dance with me.” The almost painted on jeans and midriff shirt with a Christmas tree that was in the middle of the shirt had turned a few heads when Q had walked into the club that night. He smiled and enjoyed the looks, as well as the dancing.

“Oh, yes definitely dangerous. If I didn’t know you were in a committed relationship, I’d certainly enjoy more than just dancing with you.”

“I’m still not telling you who it is.”

Winston laughed, and for a moment Q could admit he was rather tempted. Winston was the type of classically attractive men that he could grace the covers of several magazines. He had a bit of John Hamm about him and Q had been attracted when he first met the 00.

After several songs, Q needed some water and another drink.

“Shall we find a table?”

“I believe there are a few on the second floor. Why don’t you get us the drinks and I’ll grab a table.” Q smiled at Winston who did exactly as Q asked.

“All right, I have to know. Is the ‘nerdy’ appearance and attitude all an act?”

Q took a sip of his drink after he down half of the water bottle Winston had gotten before he spoke.

“Not entirely. But, I am of the mind that work is just one aspect of my life. Yes, I like Sci-Fi television, the MCU movies, Dr. Who, Lord of the Rings and all that nonsense, but it doesn’t rule my life. Just as work doesn’t. I love trying new things and new hobbies to see what fits. But, I am also fairly private. Most know that I am a Paddington and that comes with a certain responsibility, but it doesn’t mean I’m a fuddy duddy.”

Winston sat back and sipped his ale smiling.

“It’s true that we’ve put you in a box, but it sounds like you created the walls to keep us out.”

Q’s devilish smile showed as he sipped more of his drink.

“You would be partially correct.” Q wasn’t going to elaborate, he wanted to finish his drink and get back down on the dance floor.

“You are not going to give up your secret of who it is you are seeing, are you?”

Q’s smile broadened as he held the last of his drink up in a mock cheers.

“Come on. Let’s go back down and dance.” Q stood and held out his hand which Winston took as the music picked up the beat once more.

+++++

Sunday morning Q took it easy with a book and spot of tea and crumpets at his favorite casual tea house. He tucked up in the corner on a comfortable chair while he read an old Raymond Chandler favorite.

Q was well into his second pot of tea and contemplating something else to eat when two women sat across from him, just far enough away to keep him from having to get involved in a conversation, but close enough that he felt one of them staring at him. Lowering his book he looked to see that it was two agents who weren’t 00’s but still part of MI6.

“Q? I’m surprised to see you out and about.”

“Really? Do you think I just sit in my apartment and never go out?”

The second woman blushed a little too hard and Q just raised an eyebrow at her.

“Well, you know. We don’t ever really  _ see _ you do anything. I didn’t peg you for a mystery fan, either.”

Q furrowed his brows as he lowered his book.

“Don’t tell me. You thought I only indulged in fantasy and spent all of my time in the basement of SIS.”

“Well...yes?”

“Hmm. Not very good at your jobs then if you assume things about a person.”

“That...I mean...you’re right. We shouldn’t make assumptions. Mainly because you might decide not to give us the good stuff.”

Q laughed and shook his head. “Well, for your information, I am a mystery aficionado. I love the classics like Dame Agatha, old Raymond Chandler, Dorothy Sayers, P.D. James, as well as a lot of modern writers. In fact, I am in a book club that meets once a month. In fact, we are doing this book, “ Q holds up  _ The Long Goodbye _ and wiggles his brows. 

“That’s brilliant. I adore mysteries.”

Q took a moment to decide if he wanted his work life and his normal life to collide, but Shelly and Amber were agents he didn’t work with on a daily basis. Usually the non 00’s worked with Q’s secondary team and Anthony did their kits for them, while Q was strictly 00 territory. He didn’t see what it could hurt.

“If you are interested I can give you the details.”

“Oh, I couldn’t intrude, Q.”

“It’s no problem. I believe you would enjoy the group.”

“If you’re sure. We wouldn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“I mean it, Shelly. It is not a problem.” Q took a notebook and pen out of his satchel and wrote out the information and handed it over. “We won’t have another gathering until January. We cancelled December as everyone was finding it difficult to pick a day because of the holidays.”

“That makes perfect sense. I guess we’ll see you there.”

The waitress came over and delivered Q’s food and another pot of tea. He held up his book indicating he wanted to get back to reading, and the two women didn’t bother him the rest of the time he was in the cafe. When he felt like it was time to go, he packed up, paid for his tea and food, then left. He thought it might be nice to have a work friend at the book club, Q looked forward to the next meeting.

+++++

Q took some time to reflect on how he had run into several agents over the last couple of days and wondered if they were actually following him to see what he did outside of work. While it might seem silly and paranoid to those outside of the agency, there were just too many coincidences to consider.

Q booted up his computer and checked his security cams and noticed what he should have noticed a few days prior. The trying to be inconspicuous van that he knew was one of MI6’s surveillance vans. Shaking his head, Q made a large carafe of tea, grabbed some togo cups he kept for Bond when he was running late, and took that and some sandwiches with him.

Knocking on the side door, it opened a moment later.

“The jig is up boys, as they say.”

“Hey Q.”

“Yeah, hello Q.”

“Alec, you should know better. You know what my life is like, and you, Raymond, why are you going along with this scheme?”

“Well, a bunch of us were talking and we all came to the conclusion that all you ever did was stay down in that dank basement making tech all day when you weren’t running missions. Alec tried to set us right, but no one believed him.”

Q handed over the bag of sandwiches and carafe of tea.

“You have two choices, you can move on and understand that my life is my own, or you can come on up and watch some movies with me. 

“But you have to understand that what I am at work is nothing like what I am at home. I am a private person, I don’t talk about my nights out because I don’t need anyone’s approval. We are coworkers, not friends.” Q marched off back towards his apartment. He had a stack of movies waiting, with bowls of popcorn, and plates of snacks laid out, with a pitcher of mulled wine and bottles of water. He was a little angry at his coworkers, but he also understood their curiosity. It was just unfortunate that his coworkers had access to high tech toys that could be used to intrude on someone’s life.

Q had to learn how to fill the days between when Bond was on mission, and when he was home. He was not the type to pine, and he knew exactly what he was getting into when he and Bond began their relationship.

Q counted the seconds before his bell rang and smiled to himself that he was right on how long it took the two agents to show up at his door.

“Come in. I have enough snacks if you want to join. No comments on my movie choices, and if you leave, I won’t think less of you.” Q’s smile wasn’t exactly nice as he turned on his heel and walked back to his living room. Turning down his lights, he poured three glasses of the wine, plopped down on his couch and turned on his DVD player. When the credits started up, Raymond gasped and Q noticed his eyes widen in what Q assumed was utter shock.

“Q, what the hell?”

“What? I like bad Christmas horror movies.”

“Yes, I see that, but these are kind of...”

“Extreme? All the better. Now shut and watch, or like I said, leave.” Raymond lowered himself in the chair while Alec sat next to Q on the couch.

“Really, Ash, Rare Exports?” Alec whispered in his ear.

“Yes, now shut up.” Alec laughed as he leaned back on the couch and got into the mood of the evening.

After the third movie, and well past Midnight, Raymond stood up on shaky legs.

“Okay, you’ve proved a point. I think I’m going to bow out. Early brief in the morning. See you tomorrow.” Raymond let himself out and Q turned to look at Alec who was laughing so hard he almost fell off the couch.

“That was priceless.”

“It’ll teach him and the rest to butt out of my life. Now shut up. Christmas Evil is next.”

+++++

Bond knew that nobody at HQ knew about Q and himself. In fact, he knew that his fellow agents thought he was emotionally disconnected and fairly cold. While there was truth in that, when it came to his lover, Bond had started to throw out all of the rules he had set for himself when he started with MI6.

Today being Christmas Eve, Bond decided that the secrecy must end. He loved Q to distraction, and Bond knew he was getting too old for field work. He was closing in on 50 and looked at the options M had given him for retirement.

Bond was happy that Q didn’t care about their age difference, which wasn’t all that large of a gap, but he knew some would see it as a problem, but Q was 35 and fifteen years between them didn’t seem all that bad.

“Bond, are you sure about this?” M asked after Bond presented his proposal.

“Yes, Sir. We both know that I am close to aging out of the program. But, taking a position as a trainer would keep me in the agency until I’m ready to leave. I want to leave with my life intact. I have,” Bond smiled as he looked at the small package in his hand,”Something great to live for.”

“Yes, I suppose you do. I will just need you to sign disclosure papers, and Ashcroft will as well, but there isn’t anything in the rules that you both cannot work within the agency while in a relationship.”

“Yes, I read the clause very carefully. I’m ready to move on and settle down. I know that I’ve caused you distress in the past which I will make my apologies for.”

“Yes, well in some instances, your antics were warranted. But not always. I’m glad to have you as a trainer, though I do have to say it will take some getting used to calling you by your Christian name.”

Bond huffed out a laugh. He had been James Bond for so long that he had lost himself to the moniker. It would be good to use his own name once more. 

“It will be strange for me as well, M.” Bond signed the papers he needed to sign, gathered up his things and made his way towards Q-Branch. He had flowers, wine and presents in his arms as he walked through HQ. Heads turned, agents gasped as they watched Bond walk with purpose.

Walking through the glass doors of Q-Branch all activity stopped as he was once again being gaped at. Q-Branch was currently in the process of a rather rambunctious Christmas party.

“Bond!” Q squeaked as his jaw dropped open seeing Bond standing there.

“Q, I have something to say, and I know this might embarrass you, but I, for one, am tired of hiding. I love you. I thought I had found what felt like love with Madelaine, but I was a fool. When I came back and laid myself bare, you took everything in stride, even keeping us secret from everyone.

“But, I am tired of hiding. I want us to be open with our friends and coworkers.” Bond set the flowers and wine on Q’s desk in the bullpen. Q slowly came from out behind his desk and took Bond’s hand. When they touched Bond pulled Q close and kissed him stupid.

The cheers and catcalls from those around them didn’t bother Bond. He was happy that everything was now out in the open.

“Well now, old champ. We all assumed that you were quite the womanizer and emotionally non-existent. But, seeing as how Q lit up when you walked in the room, I can say that several misconceptions about both of you have been debunked. Just make sure you don’t break our Quartermaster.” Raymond squeezed Bond’s shoulder then moved off to the side.

“Yes, we never thought Q was as, well, we assumed a lot we shouldn’t have. But, after having had a rather fun night of dancing with our Quartermaster, I can see how the two of you are perfectly suited.” Winston winked at Bond before he walked to the punch table to get a cup.

Q had been eating some of the snacks that were on tables laden with food and desserts. He had to pick up his plate to take a bite of food as he watched Bond walk back to him.

“I’m not done, Q. It’s Christmas Eve, and I thought I’d give you an early present.” Bond handed Q the folder after he put his plate back down. Q opened it and read it carefully before looking up at Bond. 

“Are you certain?”

“Never more certain of anything in my life. You saved me, Q and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Here, open this.”

Q took the wrapped box and with shaking hands ripped off the wrapping paper. Bond heard him suck in a deep breath as he saw what was inside.

“Yes. Yes, Yes, Yes, you daft thing you.” Q launched himself at Bond who took Q in his arms and held him close. Q buried his head against Bond’s neck and shook with emotion.

Bond held on knowing his lover needed to purge his emotions.

“I love you, Ashcroft.” Bond whispered in Q’s ear. “And, call me Julian Edwards, that’s my real name.”

Q pulled back and looked in Bond’s face for the longest time while everyone around them held their collective breath.

“Julian. I would be honored to use your real name, and honored to be your husband. You made this the best Christmas ever.”


End file.
